Well? Does the word happy convey you to memories of smiling or are you trying to figure out exactly what that means and, in turn, if it actually means anything in your life? Apparently, if you are a religious person, with all of the nuances that word conveys, you might actually be happy, you might actually be able to process what that means in your life.
It’s true – this is the place in which we live, breathe, love, cry and die … or so the Shadowed World purports. A world where it’s me against you, us against them, where he who yells loudest wins the precedent, where she who wields the largest weapon gains the right to become sovereign – for a day, a week, forever …
So the interesting thing about being able to offer words to the blog environment for Emerging Spirit is the opportunity to let the mind sort of go and find space to share. Of course, that means that there is a certain amount of tension: 1) Am I writing for the sake of writing (likely a neurotic/boundary issue)? 2) Is what am I writing of any use? Is there anybody out there (perhaps a self-doubt opportunity to explore humility)? Regardless of the inner monologue, I thought I would offer a musing that occurred recently during a lovely meal at the Toad in the Hole Pub and Eatery in Winnipeg, which included Chicken Curry, Fish and Chips, Bangers and Mash, Chicken Portfolio, and various mixes of ales, stout and such.
My personal experience in small groups, whether as a participant or someone in leadership, has been transformative. My background has moulded me to be resistant to trust, to engage with others. I suspect that this is connected with a sense of vulnerability and the need, in turn, to ensure that I remain in control. The need for control, however, is not so much connected with the need to direct others, as much as it is to ensure that I remain in the ‘driver’s seat.’
I was recently at the Annual Gathering of the Conference of Manitoba and Northwestern Ontario. And, as is the wont of our collective gatherings, there was lots of theological reflection, Polity & Process! One very exciting item has been reconsidering the length of the Conference's name - we sure have a propensity for words ... okay, so I am digressing ...