Celebrities chatter
Politicians pontificate
Heroes hail
In distraction
community’s creating caring
healing happens
We’re living in funny times. It’s almost as if we’ve forgotten who we were and what that means for who we are. It makes for interesting times. Whether we’re talking about what we mean when we discuss ideals such as ‘universal health care’ or ‘democracy and social responsibility’ there seems to be a disconnect. Maybe (even more worrisome) is that we seem unable to find ways to have the conversations. And – when and if we do – too often they are charged in a way that invites judgement and anger. Then – of course – the cycle repeats with less engagement, more apathy and a sort of self-fulfilling story that no one seems to care or is only seeking what’s best for numero uno …
Lest we imagine that the context in which we find ourselves – church and faith communities – is any better at traversing the changing landscape, listen to Sunday worship conversations that explore generational differences. Or pick up a copy of The United Church Observer and read the Letters to the Editor.
What we thought was normal – institutionally – is now marginalised and those who are left behind keep trying to fit this new round world into our triangular one. Those still in the brick-and-mortar church sometimes focus on finding ways to get people back, bring the young people home, or invite others to fill buildings once bustling, which now sometimes only echo laughter and play long since assumed to be absent. If we can just tell people what we believe, we hope they’ll believe it too … and sometimes if experience seems to translate into failure, our own apathy sets in.
So I’m wondering about conversations and intention. I’m wondering about exploring this changed landscape in a new – old way. What if we acknowledged – even if difficult – that our language no longer makes sense outside of the church walls? At the same time, our desire for relationship and community has not changed.
What if we wrestle with accepting that outside of our walls needs have not changed since we were sent out to share the Good News? People are still hurting and in need. Children are still exploited and need a place to be the blessing they are. Women continue to confront violence and people are still judged for who they are, but who our culture would rather shape into something ‘normal’ and non-threatening.
The funny thing about language is that we often assume it’s the reference point – the go to gauge of what binds us. Sometimes we give preference to our ideas and knowledge at the expense of others. But what if … even for just a moment … we imagine that the early Christian communities did something very different. What if instead of embracing cultural norms and assumptions, they explored understanding one another first? What if – in those difficult and awakening days – our early Sisters and Brothers listened to one another and those around them? And – in those times of deep hearing and awareness of connexion – then they formed words to explain what they saw, what they heard and that new language was the gift of the relationship – or just one of its by-products?
There’s no mould or perfect answer about how to navigate cultural changes that are – in many if not all ways – unprecedented. But what if you, your faith community left the walls and started conversation not geared toward neither changing others, nor converting them. What if you, we, and I asked our neighbours who they were and what they wanted? And maybe, they might ask us too? And … just maybe … without any indications of what the future might look like, understanding began as we saw ourselves as human, blessed and valued? I wonder what would happen next …
I remember talking to you and Shelly at Cayucos. We had a disagreement about an issue. I thought you were wrong at the time. I still do. …But I loved you both for speaking to me frankly and without rancor. Christians should be honest, but sometimes it’s hard to be honest with yourself, let alone other people. Sometimes it’s hardest to be honest with yourself. We should value the exchange of ideas and people who are willing to challenge our views while maintaining the bonds of friendship. I can’t pin down one time I diametrically changed my view based on our conversations, but I can think of many times your words have caused me to rethink an issue and modify a position in some way or another. It’s tough to stand up to your opponents when you think they’re wrong. Often, it’s even tougher to stand up to a friend when you think he is. God bless you for being brave enough to do so.
Thanks for sharing that lovely memory Daniel! Does that connect for you as an example of being able to establish understanding without the need to prove or agree?
That’s really the point. If it had been an argument, per se, I would have had to try to convince you of something or you would have tried to convince me. …But we were sharing thoughts and your thoughts needn’t be the same as my thoughts for me to benefit from the exchange.
I think if I had a grin and thumbs-up option at this point that would be how I would reply 😉 Thanks Daniel!