This reflection was offered at a military wedding at which I had the honour to officiate. Its theme is drawn from a saying attributed to the ancient orator and general Perikles, an ardent advocate of Athenian democracy. What follows seeks to hold together the ideas of service and democracy, and to suggest that marriage itself can stand as a model of hope in challenging days. Identifying details have been removed to protect the privacy of those involved.

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others

Perikles

Royal Canadian Chaplain Service

Royal Canadian Chaplain Service

Today, as we gather in this armoury to celebrate this wedding, these introductory words carry a particular weight. They remind us that there are distractions which constantly pull us away from what truly lasts.

The first is the noise of gossip, rumour, and disinformation, stories that divert us from caring for one another. It is the easy shortcut of suspicion, the half-told tale, the whispered certainty that quietly corrodes trust, not only between people, but also in the institutions that allow us the freedom to disagree through constructive debate. In a family, in a unit, in a community, this kind of noise diminishes us. It teaches us to protect ourselves rather than to belong to one another.

The second distraction is consumerism, the external trappings that promise meaning if only we can assemble the right image. The perfect day. The perfect uniform. The perfect photographs. The perfect life. Yet what can be purchased can never replace what must be practised: patience, fidelity, courage, forgiveness, and the daily decision to show up for one another.

Perikles challenges us to look beyond both distractions. A life of service and integrity is grounded in community. Not an abstract ideal, but the lived, imperfect, and sometimes exhausting reality of people who continue to choose one another, so that those who come after us may thrive. This is service at its best, a steady commitment to something beyond ourselves, and a willingness to carry weight so that others do not carry it alone.

Canadian Armed Forces Coat of Arms

When that commitment takes the shape of a marriage, when two people, such as those standing before us do today, choose to serve with tenderness and to speak truth with love, legacy begins. Not as a headline or a plaque, but as threads woven into a future we will never see. In the strength of those who learn trust by watching you. In the courage your marriage embodies. In the hope discovered when we choose to shape a future of possibility for the next generation.

So may it be said, as we stand here together, in this armoury dedicated to the sacrifice of the Victoria Cross recipient Sgt Hugh Cairns, that a life of integrity is made visible in those present, in those who have chosen to serve one another, and in those who serve as members of the Canadian Armed Forces. May we honour this commitment by supporting the couple, so that those who follow may look back on us with respect and dignity. May it be so.

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