What About Us? What About Love?

How can we expect our children and grandchildren to listen to us? As post war baby boomers we did think we had all the answers–Protest and demanding our rights we marched telling our kids LOVE was the answer. Yet we did screw up. Divorce rates soared, social unrest and peace marches seemed more important than keeping peace in our own families. I think more than ever, our children need to see us walking the peacemaker road, doing the work of peacemaking. By that I mean we need to stop protesting and start listening to those we are so opposed. Instead of insisting we are right and morally superior to them while insisting they are wrong and disgusting, bullies, pigs, racists or whatever…we find ways to communicate and work for legislation that helps all people grow in LOVE and HUMAN understanding. This won’t be easy. I think Johnathan Haidt https://vimeo.com/36128360 is onto it when he says, we’ve got to stop demonizing the other. Others are not so sure. They think Johnathan is naive. What do you think?

Talking with one another is the goal and I agree inviting one another into conversation is hopeful. Talking at each other is what we do too often and what I may be doing right now. And I think that is okay for openers and even makes sense.

As the TED X video you posted points out..Having difficult conversations with difficult people who may have deep seated opinions that are contrary to ours is what we need to do. We need to do this in real time, face to face, and have the courage to invite dialogues with people in our communities. I agree. I would add that, we need to be taught how to get a good conversation going where diverse view points are respected and encouraged. Too often these forums or intergenerational talks happen where the popular view point gangs up on the minority view point. Or the minority view point comes with an agenda to get an apology for being mistreated in the past or with the agenda to overturn the popular view. So I think the hope lies with training church or community activist leaders to be facilitators of conversation. Having said that, I think individuals can learn how to be good conversationalists by practicing with their family members. I know this can be dangerous. However there are good resources on the internet. Calling someone a moron, a racist, an asshole, or a bully are ways one stops conversations. However, name calling may help rally people to a like minded conversation where the conversation is designed to vent anger…so that a true conversation can occur between alienated sides.

I will add this. As a young mom, I was having trouble talking with my kids. At a conference, two very wise older women sensed this. Probably because they could see, I was having trouble talking with others. A few days after the conference, a book showed up on my doorstep from an anonymous donor. The book was “How to talk to kids so they’ll listen & listen so they’ll talk” .”http://www.fabermazlish.com/

Thanks for posting Theo J Wilson’s Ted Talk because I agree. People like me need to have the courage to get into real “face to face” conversations with people in my community.