I’m not sure what I’m supposed to call you? Reverend? Pastor? Minister? It’s all new to me. It’s all – as I told you – really scary. It’s also … hopeful? I think that’s a word you used more than once? Oh well, I’ll stick with your name: Meadow. At least that’s what you told me to do
I’m writing for a few reasons … I guess the biggest one is to get some of my thoughts down – you know to try to figure things out? Put in order all the things we talked about since the wedding?
I was really happy at the end of our first time together. I think I was still just as nervous, but I felt … safer? I’ve never really talked about God – though I really love your word ‘Creator.’ Feels lighter, less weighted with all the crap we discussed that I connect with religion.
I still remember when my friend Cecily told me about you. She knew that Ruth and I were – well you know – trying to figure things out. I wanted to get married and I was so excited to move here from the States. Knowing we could have our relationship celebrated felt important. I like that word ‘holy,’ that you talked about when I tried to explain why it was important. ‘Sacred.’ That’s how it felt when you married us.
Ruth – though – well she wasn’t only pissed at the church, but also at my own hope to get married and it was pretty difficult. I remember when she asked why not just go to a Commissioner? Then we learned that even that might not be safe. Ruth has been so hurt by the church, but since I didn’t grow up in it the way she did, we didn’t know what to do. It was tearing us apart – especially since I didn’t know how to explain to her why it was important to me … well until we met.
So, when Cecily told me about you – I laugh now – but I asked her point-blank sort of: “Does she like us?” We laughed. Not in any judging way – but I really didn’t know about people like you, let alone that there was a church that has done so much stuff around sexual orientation, identity, human rights, aboriginal relations … I admit I’m still sort of blown away. Why no one knows this stuff … well like I told you, you guys have to do some better marketing!
Anyways, I’m rambling. I guess I just want to thank you. I’m hopeful we can meet again? I don’t know if we’re ready for the church thing – but we’ve been helping with the drop-in your church supports for the Gay Straight Alliance at the high school on Selkirk Street. Ruth is – in her way – looking at faith stuff in a way that is wowing me.
She knows so much about the Bible and stuff – I knew she did, but didn’t at the same time: does that make sense? After you helped us with our vows and the prayers, she seemed to … open up? Now when I have questions, she actually talks about the history of the books in the Bible. I guess she’s choosing to make the best of her religious training? Weird and exciting to realise the person I love has so much for me to discover! I think you said something like to us?
Well, I’ve got to run. So – again – thank you. Life feels blessed now – not always easy, but lighter and that feels pretty great!